Have you ever had times in life when certainty feels just out of reach? What about those times when certainty is not even a remote glimmer on the horizon… when the rug has been pulled out from under you, and life is so hard that you can barely breathe?
Do you know someone who just seems to have it all together? That same someone who can speak of trusting God as if it’s simple, yet you feel the weight of the world not just leaning on you, but it has taken up residence in your mind and on your shoulders?
Trusting God doesn’t mean that you instantly stop feeling sadness, fear, anxiety, depression, and worry. Trusting God doesn’t mean our lives will move from the chaos of a world that seems to have gone mad to a state of unlimited perfection.
Scripture frequently acknowledges this tension. Many biblical accounts describe real people, just like you and me, who moved forward without knowing how their circumstances would unfold.
Even Jesus had to bear the angst of a fallen world. He knew how his story was to unfold, knew that he would suffer a miserable death, so He knows exactly how we feel. He said in John 16:33, “In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” He didn’t promise that the minute you became a believer, life would never again be hard. What he did promise was an eternity in a perfect heavenly home one day. He also promised that we would never have to walk through the hard times alone.
In uncertain seasons, trust may become less about knowing what comes next and more about remembering what, or, more importantly, Who, remains constant. Faith often grows not in moments of clarity, but in the spaces where clarity has yet to appear. I have learned that in those blurry, foggy days when I don’t have the first clue what to do next, those are the days that I begin with the “I just don’t know” prayer.
More often than not, this prayer is accompanied by tears, heartache, worry, grief, and/or uncertainty. It goes something like this… “Jesus, I have no idea what to say or what to do, but I’m so scared and tired or worried and stressed.” Also, these prayers almost always contain the words, “I don’t feel you near, or I feel lost and alone.”
The good news is, we don’t have to have all the answers or know all the right words. God knows our hearts (and our hurts), and He knows exactly what we need, exactly when we need it. God’s word says, “Likewise, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.” Romans 8:26 ESV
The Father knows our innermost hearts and surrounds us in His steadfast love. I don’t always get an immediate answer, or maybe I don’t get the answer I wanted, but God has never failed to answer in the way that is exactly perfect for me at the exact right moment, and while I’m waiting I can find peace in the knowledge that God is near, Jesus loves me, and the Holy Spirit is interceding for me in all the “I don’t know” prayers.